Now, I love spam, I read it and collect the best messages, but this is going way too far:
Aloha!
Ah love is bitter and sweet, but which is more sweet the bitterness or the sweetness, none has spoken it. Honey, every night I close my eyes and get on my knees to pray, hoping that there will be a day when you are a part of my life. No matter what you do, I can not stop thinking about you, and I only want to be with you every day. I believe you are my destiny, and I would sacrifice everything to have you here with me.
Sincerely
Nastechka V
Dear Nastechka V,
I really hope you don’t mean what you say. You should seek medical help right now. You are in real, immediate danger. You are out of your fucking mind. Stay away from my door or I’ll shoot you on sight, you psycho, deranged, screwed-up, loony ass bitch.
Fuck off
SM